Thursday, December 22, 2005

Insomniatic

Well.... I can't sleep.... I suppose i'm nervous about starting my new job... oh well... atleast it's given me time to setup blogging via my iPAQ again :)

My train commute should give me plenty of future Blogging time... that's if I can think of something interesting to write about!

Only 2 more days left at work... woo hoo.

Shopping Days till next Xmas: 368.25

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Parting Sentiments

So, Last night was the KC X-MAS Party.

I figured I'd go... seen as I have resigned, I decided that I'd like the company to get me Pissed one last time.... So, I donned my penguin suit and escorted Jo to our Stretched Limo.

At leaving time, I decided it was Time to have a word with the Big Boss Man. So, my Boss, Phil, was stood there... I had to say something! I'm leaving.... What have I got to loose!

So, I walked up, and shook his hand and said "I've learnt a lot working for you".I then proceeded to ask him to Kiss Daphne, The inflatable sheep i stole from the bar earlier in the evening. He sadly declined, and I ran off before I made an even bigger DRUNKEN GOIT of myself.

But, I look back in fondness of the moment, and it will be with me forever!

also: Chuck Norris pwnz j00

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

pwn3d.

Location: A Quiet City Centre Newsagents (a fair distance from the hospital).
Time: Lunch.

Seanie: I should just like to enter into this Local Convenice shop for a chilled beverage to complement this Cornish Pasty that I Recently purchased.
BiSScuiTT: Right Ho' old chap!, I shall shelter near the entrance to escape this ghastly weather.
Seanie: *Goes to Refrigerator at the rear of the shop*
BiSScuiTT: *waits*.

Mr.X: *Quietly asks the purveyor of the convenience store* Do you have any with Big... ermm... *cups hands over his chest*
ShopKeep: Try up the top.... that one at the back might be what you want
Mr.X: Oh yes.... that's perfect... *sudden realisation that there are other people in the shop, including an elderly gentleman who just entered*
Mr.X: ERmm... it's errr... FOR MY MATE! In.. err.. Hospital ! Yeah.. Hospital, Definitely Hospital, and in conclusion.... HOSPITAL!
BiSScuiTT: *Secretly Sniggering, but trying not to judge*
Seanie: *Hears Everything*
ShopKeep: *Raises left eyebrow*
Mr.X: Hand over Cash

*Two Women enter the Worlds Busiest City Centre Newsagents.*

Woman1: Oh... 'ello Bill!
Mr.X: *Realises his name is Bill*.
Seanie: *Queues behind Mr.X*
Shopkeep: *Hands Razz Mag To Bill (i.e: Mr. X)*
Mr.X: Errmmmmm.... Er.... Ello Luv! Ermm... How's you *hugs*
Woman1: What you been buying....
Mr.X: Ermm... It's err... For my Mate... In Hospital... Yeah... errmm... he's stuck in bed and all that!?
BiSScuiTT & Seanie: *Can barely hold laughter*
Seanie: *Quickly completes his transaction for a chilled bottled beverage*
Woman1 (i.e: Mrs. X): What the?! but...
BiSScuiTT & Seanie: *Quickly flee the Now Overcrowded shop to allow for breathing, and hysterical laughter*

Friday, November 18, 2005

I resign.

Date: 18/11/2005


<Manger's Name deleted>
Kingston Communications
Ferens Court
16-22 Anlaby Road
Hull
HU1 2PA

Dear <Manger's Name deleted>:

Being sound of mind, I Tender my Eventual resignation from kingston communications. My Years of Service Here Inevitably Need to Yield to a Marked End. The Achievements of my time here have Left me with Assorted Specialised Skills which will endeavour to help me in my future career.

I hereby give notice of my resignation from Today.


Sincerely,



Ian Bissett
Software Engineer

(can you spot the hidden message?)

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

It was this: ACES!

So, Anyways... I'm on my way home from work, and i stop to cross the road (at the junction of Anlaby road and Albert Ave.) The lights are red, and as I start to cross, the car the the front of the queue Bangs the horn.... I look round to see a hot 20-something female driver blowing a Kiss... "At me ?" i ask myslef "Surely not... moron".

After crossing the road, and walking a few more meters, I hear a nother beep. I turn to see her frantically waving at me thru the window!

W00p! I'm MONEY BABY!!!

It was a good day!

I would have got pictures, but I was in far too much shock !

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

All is forgiven


You work me to the bone, and stress me out all day long for measly peanuts. But I forgive you for all that with your latest offering of a 30 Foot high Fluffy Bunny on the front of the Kingston Communications' Telephone House.

Any company that can manage to work cute fluffy bunnies into their advertising campaign is allright in my books.

It's this: ACES!

Monday, July 25, 2005

Vote-Me-Doo!

It's Baby Of The Year time, and we entered Ruben for good measure...

Anyways... it turns out this thing is a jipp, and the only way Ruben will ever win is if you go out and buy 1.2 MILLION papers and send in a voting slip.

So... We task you with this: buy as many Hull Daily Mail papers you can get your grubby hands on, and vote for Ruben Bissett (Entry Number: 1028)

We don't want him to loose to some to a scummy Chav now do we eh ?

P.S: Free Bacon for everybody who votes for Ruben and comes to me with the Claim code of: '1-800-IT5-4-J1P'.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Nerdgasm!

<Nerdgasm>
OMG... OMG... OMG... I must have one:

http://www.artlebedev.com/portfolio/optimus/

This is the world's single most sexiest computer peripheral. Imagine a keyboard with a background of your choice, or with animated keys depicting and assigned to anything you want your computer to be doing!

I must have one NOW!
</nergasm>

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

BiSScuiTT's Test-O-Matic Quizzulator

I've setup an online quiz for you all to take. Take my Quiz!

Once you've done the quiz, Check out the Scoreboard!

I had fun setting it up... I hope you guys enjoy it.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

A Day in the Life...

If you've ever wondered what I get up to during the day at the office, then this will give you a pretty good idea of how things go at the minute:

http://www.lashells.com/files/qbr.wmv

It's like somebody saw my life and cloned it.

Have Fun People.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Thankyou!

It would appear today that I made the frontpage! A story it would seem dedicated to me and my own personal miracle.

I can't help thinking that the story should have been about somebody really special. Such as the doctors and nurses who administered my treatment, my family for holding up all the way through it or to a local police station for raising treatment money for me all those years ago.

To you, and everybody involved in my life. Thankyou! I've never been more proud of all of you!

The Hull Daily Mail: Against All Odds

Friday, April 29, 2005

Driving goodness

Now that we are all settled back into our routines at Home (and me at work) I'm pushing on heartily with getting my driving test passed.

This Afternoon I managed to pass my Theory, even with it's new Hazard Perception and Car maintainence Mumbo-Jumbo!

Everybody at home is reported as well, which is more I can say for everybody in the office!

Have Fun Y'all

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Who's The Daddy ?

Sadly due to time constraints and lack of GSM & WiFi at Hull women's and children's Hospital, This post has been sometime coming...

Ruben Dade-Alexander Bissett was born at 12:17 on April 12th 2005. He weighed a mighty 9lb 12oz and was eventually delivered by Emergency caesarian 26 Hours after Jo was induced, and 32 Hours after her waters had broken.

Photos Of Ruben

I must say I have never been more proud of both of them! Jo stuck at things, even though they looked really rough, and managed to stick to her plan of avoiding Heavy Pain relief. The C-Section however did require a spinal (anesthetic directly into the spine via a big fat needle). Jo handled this incredibly well, taking into account her phobia of needles.

We'd like to say a GREAT BIG THANK to everybody involved and at the hospital!

More information and birth stories later.

Monday, April 04, 2005

My PDA Rocks.

Sorry about the huge amount of posts today... however I am trying to make my posts more random.... and to do so I am writing a test entry from my PDA. this way I can uodate anywhere, anytime!

The Tekuiti Annual Sheep Sheering Competition.

Details Below.

http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/CU0504/S00011.htm

Sounds like a complete riot... Wish I could have attended.

* No bad jokes to day.... the article has it's fair share of Puns and Innuendo. I mean... fancy a name like FAGan... really ?? sheep shearing.... my god !!

Have Fun Kids!

Sunday, April 03, 2005

DIY Woe

Considering that my darling wife was due to pop the sprog on Saturday... I figured it was about time i pulled my finger out and got on with getting the little tyke's bedroom sorted out.

You know the Wooden flooring I'm talking about. That stuff that clicks together... My God.. it's fine when you have a couple of people to do it, but seen as my 'Large As the Queen of the Sea Cows (with child)' Wife was wholly incapacitated all weekend due to a cold, the flooring as left to yours truly (Excluding a good 30 mins of help from Rozza).

Have you tried to do that flooring single manned before... the first couple of bits are easy, but when you are in a 10 Meter Square room, you have to be some sort of amazing contortionist to be able to reach everything moving at the same time. Reading the black and white instructions on the back of the Flooring boxes really didn't go into any details on repositioning limbs to where they need to, yet should never be i had to figure things out for myself. Anyways... a few scraped knees and dislocated joints later. BAM! the flooring is all done.

Next job was the Skirting... Unbeknownst to me the floor of my early 19th Century house appears to be concave in the center by +2 Inches... MY god.. the skirting looks great in the middle, but at either end there is a enough room for a heard mongolian traffic wardens! Gaaaaaaaaah!

And to top things of, the missus is still bearing (hogging) the fruits of our marriage within her belly.

More woe later...

Saturday, February 26, 2005

The Icy Finger of Death

Well, it seems Thursday turned out to be an unexpectedly 'interesting' day.

We were due at our Antenatal (now called 'parent-craft') classes at 7pm on thursday. So, seen as both me and Jo finished work at 6pm, we decided to have a quick bite to eat in the Admiral and then walk down to Antenatal classes which were less than a mile away.

While eating my Peperonni and Mozarella Paninni, and supping on my botlle of Corona... Well, you know those heart palpitations I mentioned here a while back... Well, they came on, and they came on bad! I Kinda thought nothing of it, Even though they were beginning to become quite painful.

We left the pub at about 6:30pm, where I mentioned to Jo that I had been having strong palipations, and that I was now beginning to feel quite strange... At first I thought it might have been the beer doing what beer does best.... but one bottle? I don't think so! After about 5 minutes or so of walking, my knees started to feel weak and swollen and then I started getting pins&needles and numbness in my fingers and toes... which rapidly spread to my hands and feet.

At this point I was feeling quite strange... I was very light headed, and I was having trouble concerntrating and putting sentences together (yeah, yeah... I mean WORSE than usual! Jackass!).

Just around the corner of the clicnic (conveniently located just behind the hospital) I nearly passed out, but Jo, and a nearby building helped me keep my balance (cheers guys!) than, a short walk through the car park clutching to my pregnant wife's arm began to render searing pains up my arm...

Brain: "OMG! OMG! pain in arms? Palitations? Tight Chest? Dizziness? Holy shit! were are having a heart attack dude!"

Well... nice one brain.. it was the wrong arm! I had searing pain in my Right ARM, It's the LEFT arm for heart attacks! Anyhoo, I digress....

After sending Jo (NOT running, she is pregnant remember) to get some help from the now literally '2 seconds away' Nurses who run the Parencraft Classes. I began to fall to the floor... I soon figured this wasn't a heart attack when I didn't clutch my chest and keel over. I manged to hobble to some railings and collapse over them (i didn't want to get my jacket dirty now eh?) and awaited some assistance. Moments later several guys (including the car park security guard, who had seen my trouble from accross the car park) and the nurses came to my aid and found me a nice comfy seat inside the surgery... while Jo waited outside and called an ambulance.

Now, with me being just behind the hospital, you wouldn't expect an ambulance to take very long would you... well... you were right... it must have been less than 10 minutes before the ambulance arrived.

The paramedics checked my blood pressure and pulse as i informed them of all my past medical history... there wern't particularlaly worried, but they took me to the ambulance for a quick ECG before taking me to the hospital to get checked out by a doctor.

4 Hours later, and after 2 more ECG's, a Heart monitor, 2 Vials of blood, a piss in a jar ( I'd had that beer remember!) and several visits from a doctor, I was told that they could find nothing wrong anywhere and I could go home.... and I did just that!

However, still curious about my predicament (I mean, healthy 21 year old male's don't just keel over in the street for no reason do they?), I visted my GP the next day. After mentioning that I am still awaiting my test results for the 24 Hr ECG I had in december, she stated that what had happend at the hospital meant good things... if they couldn't find anything wrong with my heart there anf then, it was pretty likely that my ticker is in tip-top condition! which is always nice to hear...

She put it down to the 2 things left for docotors to blame: it was either a viral infection, or simply releated to stress/anxiety.

That's my story, and i'm sticking to it! Have fun y'all!

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Brusells

OMG! OMG! OMG!, this is sooooooooo cooooooooooool!

I'm sat in a hotel in the middle of Brusells, Belgium. And guess what? THEY HAVE FREE WIFI! w00t! :)

We have had an awesome day.. it's currently 16:05(GMT+1), and after too pints of strong dutch courage (also know as duvel (a localbeer (nicknamed the 'devil'))) I'm rather sozzled... but not to sozzled to actually spell sozzled in it's correctness*. We had a great morning looking in choclate shops and at really old buildings.... it's been fun, i'm sure this evening will hold even more.

The hotel is awesome (this should be aparent due to it's free wifi.) and Is located infront of a majestic church, who's market place today has been occupied by a veryy quaint antiques market. It's so... well... nice! very quiet, very relaing, exactly what I need to clear my head.

More tomorrow... have fun ppl!


* Sozzled is not a dictionary word, and i'm assuimg it's spelling, and therefore it's correctnes... (Sozzled is a trademark of Tekuiti Systems**, Copyright 2005***)
** Trademark not withstanding
*** Copyright not actaully held.

Monday, January 31, 2005

Funniest Story ever written

The boy who pierced his labia!

I nearly cried laughing reading this....
http://web.archive.org/web/20010410043509/www.lipsmackin.com/labia.shtml

Enjoy!

Friday, January 28, 2005

Crazy Irish Punk

Today, heard something I have never heard before. The music from a band called "Flogging Molly".

They are some crazy up-tempo punky Pogues rip-off band.... I love 'em, they are awesome! And i've only heard one track ! :)

You can expect to see them in the "Tekuiti Top 20" Very soon!

Speaking of the "Tekuiti Top 20", I found a bug on the software which generates the ratings that the page and Radio.Blog is based from. I have fixed the bug, and the whole thing should look much better very soon.

I've also got a bunch of new music.. .you'll see some of my favourites there soon ! :)

Merry Weekend everybody!
Have Fun!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Nerd Test

Sorry ppl, but i just had to post this.... i was so incredibly impressed with my score!!!! 94% Nerd! w00t! Supreme Nerd! Does it get any better ? :)

I am nerdier than 94% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Take the test, see what you score.... it's made my day!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Radio.Blog

Hey all, due to a nifty app I found today, you can now listen to the Tekuiti Top 20 from your favourite (flash enabled) web browser.

Click here to listen

Have Fun !

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

There are now photos of our fantabulous New Years Party online and kicking.

It was a great night. We had a few friends.. lotsa booze and TV Karaoke ! What more do we need.

In Other News, Jo's Belly Button Popped out lastnight. Which totally grossed us all out!