Tuesday, November 28, 2006

An Unexpected Ending.

You know how sometimes you watch a movie... Which you are not particularly enjoying, and you wish you weren't actually watching it, yet there is something engrossing you to the point where you can't just get up and walk away, but then, right there at the end of the movie... something happens that saves the whole thing from being a disaster.

A bit like Armageddon, the movie drags, the dialog sucks and the storyline is unrealistic an full of bad science. But then, right there at the end... the Hero (in this case Bruce Willis) dies! This has left my memory of the entire film as 'Not that Bad' as a posed to just 'plain awful'

Well, This is kinda how I am viewing the past year. Not the taking my whole life part... but in the fact that this year has been nothing but misery, the most terrible year on record infact.

The year began with a terrible start when I began commuting to Leeds on a daily basis, by train no less.... This made me quite miserable very quickly. Then, A few weeks into the new year, Jo was prescribed anti-depressants and diagnosed with post natal depression. No sooner had she finished said anti-depressants due to 'Irregular and severe side-effects' Ruben became ill for the first time.

After the doctors basically telling us to prepare for the fact that our son has Leiukemia, he was diagnosed with Neutropenia, as many of my previous posts will tell you. Then, after his operation my mental health deteriorated to the point that I had to see 2 separate psychiatrists.

My infant memories of my torturous treatment of cancer were brought forward 22 years by the similarities of the treatment Ruben was receiving, brining me horrific flashbacks and basically turning me into self-depressing emotionless monster.

Finally however, after all our treatments and after all the hardship and stress, we have found new light. My PTSD is now managable thanks to my amazing Doctors, Jo has worked not only through her PND, but has surpassed herself and been working with counsellors regarding her assertiveness. She is a new woman, more amazing than before. So amazing infact, that she is beginning to amaze even herself! We are now coping with Rubens Illness much better, and are getting into the routine of frequently visiting the hospital. Everyday we learn more about the condition and it gets easier and easier to manage.

There are big changes comming our way. I have scored a new job working with Siemens looking after the WWW and Streaming Media Servers which hold the bbc.co.uk content. This however will mean moving to Maidenhead near London.

Plans are already in place, Our house is on the market (with an interested party), Jo has been able to get a job In Hemel Hemstead (still working for Kingston Communications), I have found somewhere to stay until the new year and we are both really looking forward to it.

It's going to be hard leaving all our friends and family behind, but we really feel that a new start like this is going to be the best way to move forward with our lives. We also understand that moving away while Ruben is ill isn't going to be easy, but his condition *could* be permanant and our family have to move on with our lives around any problems.

I start my job in a few weeks, but I am not going to say goodbye just yet, I'll be home for Xmas, and we are planning a big party to make sure we see everybody before we go!

Well, that's my rant, sorry it's so long, but it's been a while and it ain't easy to sum up an entire year in one blog entry! Especially one that has been as eventful as this.

Peace out y'all!